Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Lewis Hamilton

Monday, 22 October 2007

image for Lewis Hamilton caught taking the P****
Hamilton: "You aint seen me, right?!"

News has leaked out that Lewis Hamilton has been filmed by a Formula 1 fan at the Brazilian Grand Prix at Sao Paulo yesterday, urinating in his petrol tank.

As an appeal is launched by the McClaren team that tries to claim other cars were using chilled petrol, Hamilton was caught zipping up his flies on a mobile phone camera by a Finnish spectator. Kimmi Johanneson, 27, from Keski-Suomi, Central Finland was filming some glamour girls hanging out round the McClaren pits to take home to show his drinking/sauna mates, when he inadvertently caught the rookie, would-be World Champion topping up the tank.

A Ferrari engineer, Luigi Wheelbarrow, said that: "dis a mighta well explain da apparent gearbox trouble he was experiencing in da earlier laps. Da motors are supposed to run on unleaded fuel, but obviously Lewis, being da young stud, still has too much lead in his pencil!"

When questioned by his bosses, Mr Hamilton confessed that: "with all the excitement over the weekend, I could not sleep for ages and so I drank a couple of tins of Red Bull to keep me awake. By the time I was getting ready to get in the car, I was dying to 'siphon the Python' and thought nobody would notice if I hid behind this flock of Brazilian babes. I also wanted to make sure that my petroleum was slightly warm, not chilled. Besides whoever said 'Red Bull gives you wings' is a liar - I suspect it could be a spoof writer!"

Bernie Ecclestone is alleged to drink Red Bull.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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