Written by The Macster
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Tuesday, 16 October 2007

image for Wales to be 'Rugby Free' by 2010
The future of Welsh Rugby?

Once hailed as the land of rugby and song, the Welsh love affair with the oval ball game is soon to come to an acrimonious end.

The Welsh Assembly has decreed that the sport of rugby is to be banned throughout the Principality after taking offence at the current run of success of the English National Team in the World Cup Finals, despite their lack of understanding of the finer points of the sport and general inability to play the game.

Voluntarily accepting dissolution, several senior Welsh Rugby Union members have already committed ritual suicide on the steps of the Millenium Stadium, whereas the Treasurer of the WRU carried out a 'dirty protest' as one last stand against the success of their less competent and undeserving rugby playing neighbours.

Fighting back tears, WRU spokesman Aneurin Pughpughbarneymagrew read a statement to associated members of the British Press:

"The WRU feels that we have no choice but to stop playing rugby forever, less we continue to be shown up by those English bastards. The WRU strongly believes that if a team is shit, then it should at least have the decency to lose competetive matches, and while we at the WRU do our utmost to follow this simple guiding principle - in both rugby and football - we can no longer compete against teams that refuse to adhere to this rule."

The decision comes at a time when Welsh Rugby is in turmoil following the shock defeat to Fiji - a nation that has no rugby pitches and has to train in the Seas surrounding the island nation - and subsequent elimination from the World Cup. Yet merely two years ago, the Welsh rugby team flirted with the concept of 'winning' before reverting back to their wooden spoon collecting ways.

On hearing the news, supporters expressed their dismay at the announcement but the majority accepted the decision having realised that there was now no way forward for Welsh rugby.

"Every baby boy was given a rugby ball within 5 minutes of birth," one fan told us. "We lived rugby, breathed rugby, and yet a nation that only shows some faint interest in the sport when they win one game of some importance can make it to the World Cup final? Twice. In four years? Where's the sense in that? Three years is too long to wait. I think they should ban it immediately."

Some fans are so apathetic about the news that they can't even be bothered to buy South African jerseys in readiness for Saturday's final and others have told journalists that they will be shopping for shoes with their wives on the day of the game.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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