Written by Mister Meaner
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Tuesday, 11 September 2007

image for Leeds United Are For Sale - Bates
Freddy's change from a tenner

After the worst possible start to their League One campaign, former glamour club Leeds United have been put up for sale by owner Ken Bates.

The Yorkshiremen, who were recently saved from extinction, have had a terrible time of it lately, and, after a series of poor performances, are languishing at the foot of the table, without even a single point.

Leeds' failure to get any points on the board now extends to five matches and, although their die-hard fans are still behind them - more than 26,000 turned up to see the match against Hartlepool at the weekend - it surely won't be long before Elland Road executives start planning next season's trips to Accrington, Darlington and Milton, where the Keynes Dons are waiting.

Mr Bates met former Newcastle United chairman Freddy Shepherdspie for lunch earlier this week, and the two discussed buying and selling football clubs.

Leeds are currently thought to be worth about £1, that being the figure Bates had to hand over as part of the deal he brokered to regain control in May. Sir Freddy may be interested, but will probably try to haggle.

The Whites seem close to breaking point after their dismal start, and will be looking anxiously at their next few games. Should they lose at Bristol Rovers on Friday night, it will be the first time in the club's 88-year history that they have played six matches without gaining a single point.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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