Written by Kent Pete
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Sunday, 26 August 2007

image for Charlton 3 Sheffield Wednesday 2
Petrosky, Diving like a Jerry at the Valley today.

Sheffield Wednesday's Czech International Ivan Petrosky went from Right Back to Right Cunt today as his team blew a 2-0 lead to lose 3-2 in the Championship game at the Valley this afternoon.

In a game of two halves Sheffield Wednesday took an early lead when first Burton O'Brien was allowed ample time and space to fire home from the edge of the box after six minutes and then Tommy Spurr was allowed the freedom of SE7 to head home a second.

Moreover, Petrosky playing his first match for the Owls since his controversial transfer from Czech outfit FK Mladá Boleslav , was at the heart of every good Wednesday move and at half time, the 3,000 travelling fans must have thought they'd bought a real gem .

However in the second half Chris Iwelumo inspired a stunning second half fight-back as Charlton stormed to their first Championship win of the season.

Petrosky, so outstanding in the first half, was at fault for all three Charlton goals. Instead of challenging the evergreen Jerome Thomas as he marauded down the left wing, the Czech looked disinterested and during one attack actually stood at the corner flag and lit up a cigarette. When questioned by his captain Lee Bullen, Petrosky appeared to give him the "wankers" sign and ran off to assume his position for kick off.

"How he wasn't taken off after that incident is beyond me" said Alan Pardew, the victorious manager at full time.

He continued,

"If you ask me, there should be a drugs test on the boy. I'm not one to bad mouth the opposition but something wasn't right about Petrosky . He was singing Czech War songs throughout the second half and at one stage actually run over to our bench and asked me if I'd ever 'tried Steamboat'. To be honest, I haven't been involved with illegal drugs since my time at West Ham but that tea head was cookin' alright."

A spokesman from Sheffield Wednesday promised a full internal enquiry but disputed claims that their right back was jacking up at half time.

"There is no way Petrosky could have got fuck faced. Apart from a brief period in the toilet he was with us at all times."

The football league was, yet again, unavailable for comment this evening.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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