Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for FIFA To 'Sit On The Fence' About Tevez
FIFA officials deciding that they can't help

FIFA, world football's governing body, has now decided that it may not be able to intervene in the Carlos Tevez transfer saga, reversing last week's statement that it would act swiftly to bring the matter to an early conclusion.

FIFA spokesman Andreas Herren said:

"Last week we said we could help. This week we cannot. Football is a game of two halves."

Currently a West Ham United player, Tevez wants to sign for Manchester United, but problems with his weight are proving a major stumbling block. Tevez' football agent Kia Joorabchian, is also a problem being a greedy bastardo who wants to retire to a beachfront property at Mar del Plata on the proceeds of the deal.

The Argentine player is unhappy at the way the matter has been dealt with, and welcomed last week's decision by FIFA to get involved in resolving the issue. Now though, after this latest change of mind, it looks like he may be a Hammer for a while longer.

Herr Herren said:

"It's a bit of a dodgy area. First we can, then we can't, then we can, then we can't. Football is a funny old game."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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