In a rare move today, F1 officials emerged from a meeting and stated that rookie driver Lewis Hamilton would have to carry a handicap for the rest of the season.
"We can't have the man running away with the World Championship," They declared, "It's unheard of that a driver keeps getting podium places in his first season. We discussed several options, including a drag parachute, and several bricks tied to the back of the car, but the option of the rocket-propelled Sinclair C5 was the best answer. Therefore, with immediate effect, Mr Hamilton will have to race in a modified C5" they said.
The rocket-powered Sinclair C5 has a top speed of around 250 mph on the straight, which is faster than some race cars, but can only corner at about 40mph, because of the three wheels. F1 officials will allow some modification of the new car, but have ruled out go-faster stripes. "It's too great a modification, and is not in the spirit of racing." They said.
A spokesman for team Hamilton said, "Lewis is well known for his prowess in go-karting, so this probably isn't that much different. We only have fuel worries at the moment, as it only appears to do 4 mpg, but I'm confident that we can deal with that, and carry on winning."