Written by Hugh Plonnka
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Monday, 4 June 2007

image for Essien picks up BBC gong

Chelsea's Ghanaian midfielder-cum-strongman Michael Essien not only won the African Footballer of the Year award, he also picked up the "BBC gong", at an historic and highly entertaining awards ceremony on Monday evening.

The "gong", a traditional suspended Chau Gong, weighs in at over sixty three stones. However, Essien was unfazed by the monster object, believed to be from the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region of China and presented to the BBC in 1982 by Deng Xiaoping, the so-called "Paramount Leader".

Essien astonished the audience by removing his jacket, squatting, and lifting the awkward object (awkward as the rim extends over two inches perpendicular to the gong surface) off the ground. He then proceeded to power the object above his head.

Onlookers, including former Britain's Strongest Man winner Glen Ross, were astonished by the slender Essien's power, and it is rumoured he is to be a wildcard entrant in this year's World's Strongest Man event, to be screened on Channel 5 in the New Year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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