Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 4 June 2007

image for Queen Upset By Frankie Dettori's Swearing Fit
Authorized was disgusted with Dettori's language

In the second major 'bad language' incident of the weekend, Frankie Dettori, the National Hunt jockey, upset the Queen with a hail of F-words immediately after winning the Epsom Derby on Saturday.

Dettori, who is only 2 feet 6 inches tall and weighs less than a bag of sugar, leapt out of the saddle of his mount, Authorized, and began celebrating, liberally using the F-word, which is Her Majesty's least favourite expletive.

The Italian hugged his fellow jockeys, telling them "I f*cking did it! I f*cking did it!", whilst the monarch stood yards away patiently waiting to shake his hand.
Authorized looked visibly embarrassed.

A spokesman at Clarence House told TheSpoof:

"Her Majesty hates it when Prince Philip starts swearing. She expects it from members of the underclasses like Gordon Ramsay, but not from her husband. She goes berserk."

On Friday, England football team manager Steve McClaren, another member of the underclasses, was seen by BBC Sport viewers to say "Shit" after Brazil scored a late equaliser in a friendly match against England. He has since washed his mouth out with soap.

The Queen was recovering back at Buckingham Palace yesterday, getting some well-earned bedrest whilst watching her Little Britain DVDs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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