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Topics: Boxing, college

Sunday, 6 May 2007

"Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather, unbeaten pound for pound best boxer in the world, last night, after whipping boxing great Oscar De la Hoya in a twelve round split decision, announced his retirement from boxing before an HBO audience estimated to be nearly two million people.

Today, speaking from his mansion in the suburbs of Las Vegas, Nevada, "Pretty Boy" revealed that he would be entering the Massachusetts Institute of Technology this fall to study structural engineering.

"Ya know, I been lookin' for a way out of boxin' for sometime now. Boxin' is somethin' I did for my Dad, and not for me. It bring me no joy no more, and I gotta find somethin' that give me joy. I been bringin' joy to everybody but me for so long, and now it my turn for joy and shit," Mayweather lamented.

Mayweather, Jr. said that he was initially denied admission to the prestigious educational institution, but that after an offer of a $3 million endowment gift, MIT reconsidered.

"Da bitch in admissions changed her tune real quick when I dangled some bread their way. I tol' her, hey girlfriend, I smart. I can be a engineer too," revealed Mayweather.

Mayweather indicated that he would entering as a freshman this fall, and that he would like to pledge for a fraternity.

"I seen them frat boys operate and I think I would fit right in with them dudes. Only problem is, I got fourteen personal aides that live wit' me all da time, and I may have to build those boys a new frat house to hold all my people and my stuff," said Mayweather.

When "Pretty Boy's" father, Floyd Mayweather Sr. was asked about his son's plans, He said, "Shiiiiiiiiit!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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