Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for Australian Food On The Menu At World Cup Cricket
With chips or beer?

Organisers at the 2007 Cricket World Cup in the West Indies are anticipating a long run in the competition, and a possible Final appearance, for Australia, and have planned catering facilities accordingly.

Australians, commonly known as Aussies, like to have a drink, and beer tents have been erected at the stadiums where their team is due to play. The bars are well-stocked with 50,000 gallons of lager for each match Australia take part in.

Unfortunately, there are no toilets available, but there is a piss pool. Readers may have seen TV pictures of Australia fans enjoying themselves splashing about in the piss.

Hot dog and hamburger stands have been replaced with Aussie-style 'barbies' selling traditional Aussie-style dishes.

Diners can choose from Kangarooburgers, Platypus Pie, 6-Snake Salad with Vegemite and either Dingo or Koala Bear and Chips.

Sheila Strewth of the Australian Board of Culture (sic), clad in national dress - a shirt with the sleeves ripped off, baggy shorts and flip flops - was pleased to hear about the more homely dietary options.

"Aw, ripper, mate! That's bladdy brilliant, y'barsted!"

Fellow Australians at the Viv Richards Is A Hash Head stadium in Antigua, were in agreement.
Bruce Penalcolony, who is "as stupid as a two-bob watch", said:

"Awww, fantastic, mate! The Ozzie blokes love to 'ave a boit! So do the bladdy Sheilas! Fair dinkum, cobber, y'barsted!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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