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Wednesday, 14 February 2007

image for Mascherano Slams Gay West Ham

London. In a move surely intended to add insult to injury Liverpool's new Argentinian substitute, Javier Mascherano has lifted the lid off the controversial five minutes he spent at west ham football club.

In an interview with biased French sports magazine L'equipe, the swarthy midfielder attacked the clubs fans, pies, half time entertainment and most controversially of all the clubs former manager Alan Pardew.

Mascherano,14 was quoted in the article as saying "I think the manager was a gay, he used to make me and carlos (Tevez) touch him a lot and after every game, we would both have to shower together, while he would stand and watch with his video camera. He said it was for Prozone, but I don't know."

Fans of the club, already unhappy with the club's highest ever position in the premier league, will see this interview as further ammunition to attack the clubs new owner Magnus Magnusson, ex quiz master and chief executive of the Iceland supermarket chain.

A spokesman for the club's official fan association the purple headed sex hammers, was quoted earlier today saying "Obviously Jason Machepavanoo, or whatever he is called, can say what he likes but if he ever sets foot in this manor again, there's some geezers here who will kick him back to ouji booji land or wherever he is from."

When the club was contacted and asked for a reaction to the furore caused by this unwelcome interview a club spokesman commented "Jason is no longer a part of this football club and can say whatever he wants, even if it does put his supposed best friend Carlos Tevez in immense danger."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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