Written by Jack Allen
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Tuesday, 17 June 2014

image for Footballers 'Outed' In Controversial Online Game
*Witty caption not required*

The latest online gaming sensation, Private Ball Skills, is causing controversy worldwide as the game features current footballers under obvious pseudonyms carrying out homosexual acts without being noticed.

The game is a mix between the 1990s platform game Mario Brothers and Metal Gear Solid, in which the gamer plays as a footballer who gets involved in homosexual activity but then needs to get home without being spotted due to the homophobia within modern football.

The controversy surrounding the game has hit fever pitch due to the list of players included being involved in the coverage of matches, or are participating, in the World Cup. Rio Girthinhand, Christiano Rimhardo, Robin Play Nursie and Wayne Ruinme are just a few of the supposedly fictional characters featured within the online game. The players that are clearly imitated are yet to comment, which has lead to rumours that Twitter have blocked Rio Ferdinand's account as he is well known for spurting something out prematurely to a lot of men this way.

Russia and Nigeria have already blocked the game, calling it "unnatural filth", although Goodluck Jonathan recently stated that he is a big fan of films starring John Travolta and also likes the fit of the Algerian teams football shirts.

The overlooked twist to the game Private Ball Skills is that if your player is spotted carrying out a homosexual act, the paparazzi do not care, your friends and family support you more than before and your character can live his life happily. Unless you've chosen a player who lives in Russia. Or England. Or Spain. Or Italy ... ...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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