Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 April 2014

image for Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Promises That This Season's Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Will Be Prettier, Sexier, and Louder Than Last Year's Version
Jerry Jones will be replacing the Cowboys cheerleaders old fashioned cowgirl boots with more modern looking go-go boots.

DALLAS - Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys met with Zorro La Bamba of The Sports Bet Gazette at a local Barbed Wire Barbecue Diner.

He let La Bamba know that he is not happy with the 8-8 record that the Cowboys have compiled for the past three years.

Jones said that he has searched within himself to find some answers and he feels that he may have hit upon one that he will certainly be implementing for the coming 2014-2015 season.

The Cowboys owner told La Bamba that he has heard from several respected sources that a part of the problem with the team's lackluster performance is the fact that the cheerleaders simply do not seem to have the team spirit of years past.

Many fans have stated that some of the girls really need to shake their pom poms more and not just use them to hold up their blue mini-halters.

Others have said that the cheerleaders really need to get rid of those outdated loose fitting Annie Oakley cowgirl boots and go back to the tight-fitting go-go boots they used to wear several years ago.

Jerry has listened to the many and varied suggestions and he will act on them. He said that he will see to it that for one thing this season's cheerleaders are prettier, sexier, and louder than last year's version.

He said that he has put out the message calling for cheerleader tryouts and so far he has received a lot of feedback from several Victoria's Secret models, several Hooters Girls, and even three former Playboy Magazine Playmates of the Month.

SIDENOTE: Jones has also made it known that he wants the girls white short shorts to be shorter, tighter, and as see thru as the law will allow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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