Written by Patrick Parkinson
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Saturday, 1 March 2014

image for Giant Spider Found Living In Sochi Stadium

Just a day after the Sochi winter Olympics had finished and already the purpose-built stadium has found itself a new tenant. A thirty-foot tarantula has snuck into the arena and made itself at home. The gigantic spider was found by the building's janitor who believes it must have got in from under the truck belonging to a removal company at the end of the Winter Olympics.

Already the Spider has laid eggs in the kiosks and spread it's web across the stadium grounds. "We sent in exterminators but they never made it back out" said a local animal control expert, although helicopter footage over the arena has revealed several human-shaped cocoons wrapped up in webs and hanging from the roof of the building.

"We're currently discussing options in how to deal with this pest, some want to bomb the stadium but so much money has been spent on the place it's been ruled out". One suggestion has been to drown the spider by filling the building with water, however some have criticised this plan as the stadium is not said to be the correct shape to hold in the water. One of the sides of the Fisht Olympic arena is open and it is believed that the water would leak out flooding local car parks.

With just two weeks until the Winter Paralympics starting up, the race is on to deal with the huge insect or else the paralympians would have to compete in the events whilst trying to avoid being attacked by the large arachnid. Russian leader Vladimir Putin has gathered an emergency council of scientists who are currently said to be designing a giant vacuum machine that would suck the spider up and then drown it in the nearby Black Sea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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