Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 28 February 2014

image for Robin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!
van Persies latest tactics to save United; kick the shit out of his own team mates!

Star Dutch footballer, RVP (not RIP), thought he was being particularly clever during an interview with a Dutch TV team and actually told his fellow United losers to, "fuck off" in perfect Dutch of course.

Now Robin, like many other Dutch chauvenists, thought he was safe explaining his new tactical concept in how to drag Man United out of their awful quagmire in Dutch because no other arsehole on the planet can understand the Dutch language apart from Belgians (Who?), some South Africans and ex-slaves who survived the trip to South America and now reside in Curacao, plus Indonesian, ex-tortured POW's, forced to scream in Dutch of course.

Sadly, the Dutch all speak pretty fluent English, and one clever dickhead translated his rant and sold it to the Daily Scumbucket that resides under the sun and now Robin is in very hot water with his club!

David Moyes was so upset about RVP's rant that he offered him a new contract worth 350K a week and kissed his arse whilst doing it. He also begged him never to leave United and promised that Rooney would be sold back to his old club Everton for peanuts because they only buy monkeys and Rooney is certainly one hell of a rich primate!

Everton refused flatly to take Rooney back and told Moyes to stuff himself too!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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