Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 9 January 2014

image for German gay soccer star is straight!
Soccer players having a gay old time kicking the crap out of each other!

Thomas Hitzelberger, after announcing to the world that he is gay, actually meant he is "happy" and used gay in its original form to explain how he feels today, gay in other words.

The soccer world has gone completely crazy in supporting Thomas and even prominent gay politicians have offered their kind words hoping that at last all gay soccer players will come out and admit to being happy!

Gay Meadow, home of English soccer club, Shrewsbury Town, renamed ther stadium after certain rumours circled the game that they were very gay in the meadow and removed the name. They have now reintroduced the original name and everybody in the area is totally gay once again.

Thomas, himself, has attempted to explain the misunderstanding and his wife named, Wolfgang, an ex GDR javelin thrower who was always gay whilst being injected with male hormones are totally happy living together and are hoping to increase their family after a meeting with Elton John and his current wife, David.

So what is all the fuss about? Just be gay when you feel like it and if you just happen to kick a football in a reasonable fashion and play pro-soccer, don't worry about the hooligan, homophobic fans calling you a "queer bastard" during the 90 minutes because they are just having a gay old time too bashing you!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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