Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 7 January 2014

image for The Florida State Seminoles Defeat The Auburn Tigers To Become The Nation's Number One Collegiate Football Team
After the game each member of the FSU team received a red chocolate rose imported from Switzerland.

PASADENA, California - Old Man Winter did not make an appearance at The Rose Bowl as many Florida State and Auburn fans dressed in short sleeved shirts and shorts.

Many of the female students wore halter tops and Daisy Duke shorts as they saw FSU become the best college team in the USA by defeating the Auburn Tigers 34-31.

FSU trailed by 16 points at one time. Seminoles Coach Jimbo Fisher told receiver Kelvin Benjamin that he thinks that about 17 percent of his hair turned gray during the game.

Quarterback Jameis Winston, the Heisman Trophy winner, said that it was strange but during halftime he kept thinking about going to Disneyland.

Coach Fisher told him that it was natural and that a lot of East Coast teams that play in Pasadena get that same thought.

He said that the local residents refer to it as The Mickey Mouse Syndrome.

Auburn Coach Gus Malzahn said after the game that he felt bad for his players, the coaches, the cheerleaders, and the fans.

He then paused for a second and added that he also felt bad for TNT sports analyst Charles "The Mouth" Barkley who had bet $125,000 on the Tigers.

SIDENOTE: The Florida State team will be appearing on The Tonight Show with lame duck host Jay Leno and then they will stop off in Arizona and visit the Grand Canyon on their way back home to Florida.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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