Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 16 December 2013

image for The Seattle Seahawks Go (12-2) As They Pound The New York Giants 23-0
The Seahawks gave the game ball to a Giants cheerleader who graciously gave each Seahawks player and coach a homemade bagel.

EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey - Former New York Giants player Michael Strayhan, who is now the co-host of Live With Kelly and Michael, was not a happy Giants alumni as he watched his former team get clobbered 23-0 by the Seattle Seahawks.

A close friend of the NFL player turned talk show host confided to Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that Strayhan was so upset at the poor performance of his former team that he doesn't think he'll be able to eat a can of Campbell's Chunky Soup for at least a week or so.

Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz, who wears number 80, was really disappointed that since he did not score a touchdown he was not able to do his patented little salsa dance in the end zone before the hometown crowd, which he said included 83 cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and some close friends.

Teammate Spencer Paysinger (#54) who is a linebacker said that he had not been this sad since he found out that his favorite actress Jodie Foster is a lesbian.

SIDENOTE: Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily said that he saw several New York City celebrities at the game including Regis Philbin, Joan "The Moan" Rivers and her semi-attractive daughter Melissa, the ever-changing Lady Gaga, and Alec "The Spoiled Brat" Baldwin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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