Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 23 September 2013

image for FOX Sports Sideline Reporter Pam Oliver May Get Barred From The Sidelines
Pam vows to fight for the right to remain on the sidelines.

NEW YORK CITY - The NFL is seriously looking into the Pam Oliver situation and could end up barring the FOX sideline reporter from being on the gridiron sidelines.

A spokesperson for the NFL stated that Ms. Oliver just seems to find herself in the wrong spot at the wrong time.

In a recent instance she was hit with a football that was thrown by a quarterback to his wide receiver but the ball hit Pam on the side of the face before the receiver could catch it.

She said that for several days afterwards she did not know if she was a male or a female unless of course she was in the shower or going potty (her words).

Shortly after that she was standing around eating a bowl of nachos when the ball landed smack dab in her nacho bowl causing the cheese to spill all over her $195 blouse.

Then just this past week she was accidentally kicked by a cheerleader and Pam had her microphone shoved into her mouth about six inches.

The cheerleader explained that she was so wrapped up in doing her cheerleading splits that she did not see Pam standing a few feet from her.

Miss Oliver says that it is her job to be on the sidelines in order to report the action on the field much as a hurricane reporter stands out in 95 mph winds reporting that yep, the hurricane is blowing like hell.

SIDENOTE: The NFL will announce a ruling on the Pam Oliver Sideline Issue within 10 days.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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