Written by Ossurworld
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Saturday, 21 September 2013

Unlike the Los Angeles Dodgers, another former last place team with a payroll to choke a horse, the Red Sox wore T-shirts that said, "We Own the East" and celebrated their first-place finish with a typical spray of shaken champagne.

Blowing the cork off a New Year's drink is hardly earthshaking. These Red Sex may have an idea of being wild and crazy guys, but they are truly pedestrian and without the creative juices that those Dodgers showed. Jumping into the neighbor's pool is right out of the movies.

Of course, the reason the Dodgers remain a place where Mannywood is the norm is that they actually have the old Red Sox payroll choking them and beating old dead Mr. Ed.

Yes, the nemesis for the new Red Sox will be the old Red Sox. There may be no greater drama to come out of Hollywood this year than to pit the discarded 2012 Red Sox billion-dollar payroll against the budget version of 2013.

We may have a drama that will include soap suds, chicken and beer, and sweet revenge. Perhaps Bobby Valentine will throw out the first ball in the first game of the World Series.

If those tacky Los Angeles writers had penned this come-uppance tale, they could not have better framed a tale of two cities.

Los Angeles and Boston used to be the purview of NBA basketball. No one envisioned that baseball would supersede the rivalry.

There is no baseball equivalent of Larry Bird and Magic Johnson unless it is Carl Crawford and Jacoby Ellsbury. Perhaps the dullness quotient of Adrian Gonzalez and Stephen Drew matches up in the pedestrian head-to-head case of non head-cases.

Do we think that Josh Beckett and John Lackey, once brothers in the chicken coop, can now become archrivals in the mode of Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain?

The new matchup of Red Sox and Dodgers is the stuff to get those juiced up baseball players going-without steroids, PEDs, or other fake testosterone needed.

If the Dodgers and Red Sox are in the World Series, we will be seeing the real thing in battle: New Coke versus Old Coke, iPhone 4 against iPhone 5, and Cain versus Abel.

Keep your fingers crossed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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