Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 22 September 2013

image for Baseball Catcher Spends 23 Years In The Minor Leagues Finally Decides To Forget About Going To The Majors
Grady Skipwater says that ever since he was in high school he has dreamed of being an alligator wrestler.

DULUTH, Minnesota - Grady Skipwater, a 42-year-old catcher for the Duluth Doodlebugs, has spent his entire 23-year baseball career in the minor leagues.

He was signed by the Duluth team back on March 13, 1990, and since then he has caught every single Doodlebug game except for one which he missed in August of 2012, due to a bad case of erectile dysfunction.

Skipwater's manager Bubba Woodfire said that Grady is one of the most dedicated and hardworking baseball players that he has ever coached.

He pointed out that Grady knows the words to every song that Bob Dylan ever recorded and he can eat two regular-sized pizzas all by himself.

When asked what kept Skippy, as his teammates call him, from making it to the Bigs (Major Leagues), Woodfire shook his head and remarked that Skippy has a bit of a bad temper.

He explained that in his 23 years with the Doodlebugs he was probably involved in over 280 fights including seven with his own pitchers and four with stadium hot dog vendors.

Woodfire said that Skippy has a rather unique beard which resembles the one that ZZ Top lead guitarist Billy Gibbons sports.

Grady Skipwater has finally accepted the fact that he will never play in the Major Leagues. He decided on Friday, September 13, that he will be hanging up his baseball cleats and his baseball cup at the end of the 2014 season.

He said that he and his wife Robin plan to move down to Florida where he hopes to join a local carnival as an alligator wrestler.

SIDENOTE: Robin said that in the 25 years that she has been married to Grady that not once has he ever bit her like he did many of the opposing team players.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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