Liverpool striker Luis Suárez has been placed on the naughty step until he apologizes to Manager Brendan Rodgers for attempting to make his career as a footballer better, more challenging and to accrue more money for himself, by orchestrating a move to Arsenal behind his manager's back and publicly humiliating him.
According to some blokes out in Brazil, as the Daily Mail stated, Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger is the fifth top paid football manager in the league while Rodgers doesn't even cut it on the top 30 list.
Nobody is sure what relevance this information has.
Arsenal is said to have ignored Rodgers' meltdown and are at the moment drawing up a contract to sign Suárez.
Arsenal continue to wonder why on Earth Suárez could stay with a club that continues to thwart his efforts for success.
"Screw it," a spokesman for Arsenal is quoted as saying, "every football club breaks promises. At the end of the day, it's all about the cash, who is Rodgers kidding?"
Convinced they will get their way, Arsenal know all too well what it's like to force a player to stay on a team that makes him sick to show up for work, and can sum it up in four words: van. Persie. Manchester. United.
Arsenal are prepared to go broke and offer Liverpool a third bid for the striker, who they plan to let sit on the bench for the first few games anyway just to mess with his head.
Brendan Rodgers could not be reached for comment-nobody was interested enough to hear his side of the story.