Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: NFL

Monday, 5 August 2013

image for Absolutely No One: "The 2013 NFL Season Will Be The Best Ever."
NFL 2013- It's Craptacular.

Shitty local-TV coverage of NFL teams' pre-season workouts, and the Dolphins-Cowboys Hall Of Fame Game from Ohio, or Kentucky or something, proves that this will be the best season ever, said absolutely no NFL fan anywhere.

"It's OK that the running game is all but lost at the NFL-level, and no one can complete a pass," says no one ever. "It's much more fun to watch yardage gained via defensive pass interference and roughing the passer penalties."

"We love when the referee carries the ball downfield."

And while everyone thinks that this year's best players wouldn't have been allowed to suit up for a NFL team 15 years ago, is the dearth of genuine superstars a genuine concern?

"Who gives a fuck that the Redskins got a shiny new megastar --Robert Griffin III-- and broke him in less than a year?" again says absofuckinglutely no one in the universe.

"Go Von Miller!!! Go Arian Foster!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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