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Tuesday, 2 July 2013

image for Roy Kinnear of the Tyne!
Roy of the Tyne, hopes to buy more Yohan "Kebabs" to bolster the squad!

St. James Park, Newcastle: The Tyne flows and along comes a veteran gunslinger, Roy Kinnear, brought in by Mike Ashley in a new role as an assassinator or terminator...

Upon his appointment Roy Kinnear referred to players Yohan "Kebab" (Cabaye), Hatem Ben "Afri" (Arfa) and Shola Amamobi (Ameobi) and also called the club's Managing Director "Derek Lambeze" rather than Llambias. Derek Lambeze promptly resigned...

Alan Shearer believes the appointment of Roy Kinnear as Newcastle's director of football has turned the club into a laughing stock...

Newcastle United responded, by confirming that a St James' Park bar dedicated to Alan Shearer is to be refurbished, with the former England captain's name to be removed as part of the redevelopment...

Newcastle's director of football Roy Kinnear hit back at the club's record goalscorer Alan Shearer;

"This is a guy who doesn't have a clue about coaching."

Then Roy Kinnear reportedly claimed he was more intelligent than the Newcastle fans, whereupon he then attempted to build bridges with them over the Tyne!

Now Roy Kinnear has reportedly claimed in an incoherent interview;

"I'm head and shoulders above the rest"

As Alan Shearer points out, "Pardew's public silence on the matter is telling."

The Tyne flows... We will see on the Tyne, in Tyne.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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