Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: Democrats, Texas

Tuesday, 19 September 2006

image for Bush Asks Democrats To Play Ball With Him
Follow The Bouncing Ball

Arlington Stadium, Texas and Washington, D.C.---President Bush has begun challenging the Democrats to "Play ball," preferably hard ball, but any kind of fun, "non-wussy game will do," he says.


"Listen up. Get your symbol mind sets off of all your international dreams of peace and quiet in our time and start playing ball with me. It'll lighten your load and give you something to look forward to. We'll go a couple of innings, mano a mano, eyeball to eyeball, and let the chits fall in the hay."


"A little chin music will set the tone," is how G. W. Bush puts it.


Joseph Lieberman, Senior Democrat from Connecticut, is one of the first to pick up the ball and run with it.


"I'm your boy. Just tell me what you want. I'll play hard and loose with the rules and take losing even harder. I can play soft ball or hard ball, but you've got to put me in the line up at my old position, Clean Up."


Bush replies, "We need a heavy weight to bring the runaways home. Can you deliver at the plate?", he asks.


"Can I deliver?" Joe Lieberman repeats softly. "We've got Dominos. We've got software. We've got dry goods and the wets. We can run up the score and score some runs," says Lieberman nonchalantly.


"I like your style. Conservative at home and liberal at the plate," George W. Bush compliments him.


"But I've got a problem on the field," says Lieberman.


"You've got problems?" repeats G. W. Bush.


"Yeah. I've got this light weight walk on heckler cramping my style. He just beat me at my own game. He claims he loves everybody and just invited Hillary to his Party. He claims that if he packs up his bags and brings his bats and balls home he's a winner. He tells me stealing bases and walking and being hit are a winning combination."


"Tell him those radical players are just out to catch strikes and run him ragged," Bush tells Lieberman.


Lieberman replies, "He's got a hard head."


Bush advises Lieberman to "keep brushing him back. In a worse case scenario, we can send him skeet shooting with Eagle Eyed Dick Cheney."


"That will wake him up," comments Lieberman.


"And send him packing to palookaville," concludes G. W. Bush.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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