Written by Ossurworld
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Thursday, 2 May 2013

The New York Knicks have a macabre sense of humor, with all the players arriving at Madison Square Garden dressed in black. They looked like that little Dickens of a David Copperfield leading a funeral procession.

We almost expected to hear Johnny Cash's tune, "Man in Black," instead of a national anthem. We fully believed Tommy Lee Jones would show up with an alien zap gun.

Not to worry, clothes won't make the winner, though the clothes of the winner may be a shade greener than verdant forest.

Whether the Knicks' play would match their black hearts, only the minutes ahead would tell.

The Celtics looked like they were ready for the embalmer in the first quarter. They were stiffer than a brick off the backboard. It was Brandon Bass who single-handedly sent the pallbearers back to the hearse.

Like Elizabeth Taylor, the Celtics were ten minutes late for the funeral. Once the procession was underway, the Celtics caught up and ran away from the casket, but Paul Pierce started to look like a man without a eulogy.

Yet, New York's spring night was similar to one Walt Whitman used to sing about when lilacs in the dooryard bloomed. The Knicks were dribbling Kevin Garnett more like the game were played in a dooryard.

Alas, the Knicks forgot something quite important about that dead as a doornail Celtic in the coffin: you have to put a stake in his heart.

The Celtic vampire has risen from the grave. And, the only garlic in town is on the breath of the Knicks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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