Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 1 May 2013

image for Ex-Rutgers Coach Mike Rice Makes An Amazing Comment Regarding Claire Crawford AKA The Houston Blogger
Mike Rice after he was informed that he had been fired by Rutgers University for acting like a certified jerk.

CLEVELAND - The shamed former coach of the Rutgers basketball team, Mike "The Bully" Rice was in Cleveland to get some fishing in at Lake Erie.

The disgraced coach who thought it was cute to push, shove, hit, kick, and throw basketballs at his college players spoke with Hercules Confetti of Sporting Chance Magazine.

The man who has no business coaching his underwear out of his (BLANK) much less coaching human beings was asked if he felt sorry for acting like a pile of baboon droppings.

Rice, who is no relation to Condoleezza Rice, shrugged his shoulders and remarked that he realizes that he acted like the most pompously arrogant low-life on the planet.

He the commented that he is paying for it all now since he may end up having to apply for food stamps.

"Lice" Rice, as Vice-President Joe Biden has nicknamed him, was asked to comment on the stupidly ignorant remarks that the CBS Houston Blogger with the fake name Claire Crawford made about an Oklahoma City Thunder cheerleader.

He rolled his eyes and said that wild horses could not get him to make a comment on the matter of Miss Crawford making reference to the cheerleader's weight but he did make a very revealing observation.

The fired Rutgers coach stated that if he was not happily married he would probably ask Claire Crawford to marry him.

Okay now, how's that updated cliché go...like two peas in an iPod.

SIDENOTE: Charles "The Fat Bro" Barkley upon hearing the remark from "Lice" Rice simply shook his head and said, "Turable, dat's just plain turable. Da man clearly shows dat he is da male version of dat GOP circus pony Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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