Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Red Sox

Monday, 8 April 2013

In Argentina recently a man purchased what he presumed to be two French poodles, but they were in fact ferrets on steroids with their hair teased into a poodle cut.

Medical tests burst his doggy bubble.

In Boston this week fans are buying the newly revamped Red Sox, minus superstars, as contenders for the World Series, but have they really bought a couple of ferrets?

You can only count on one fact: baseball players on the Red Sox are not on steroids, even if they have certain weasel qualities. Even the Red Sox starting rotation appears to be high on life as ball players.

In the past the Red Sox medical staff couldn't tell a rat how to get off a sinking ship, let alone whether they had ferret DNA.

Only time will tell whether the Red Sox have a poodle cut to hide their true antecedents. Right now they are playing flawless baseball.

If they win every two of three games all season, they will be more popular than the winner of the Westminster Dog Show. And, rest assured: the winner will not be a ferret.

The Red Sox may be teasing their fans into accepting hamburger helper with their filet mignon, but the team seems to thrive on playing hard. Last season they thrived on seventh inning chicken and beer breaks.

With over 150 games awaiting them, including those notorious dog days, the Red Sox may want a poodle cut by the time all those Yankee stars come off the disabled list.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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