Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Red Sox, Yankees

Monday, 1 April 2013

If it's April Fool's Day, then it must be the start of another Red Sox season.

Better for them, they are playing the hapless pinstripe Bronx team. They are no longer Bombers, but more like peashooters. When you want to feel better, Red So fans, you can note that Kevin Youkilis, cast-off, has been cast as the Yankee clean-up hitter.

The times are changing-and the two fierce rivals have become Baby Jane and her sister Blanche. We leave it to the cruelest readers to identify which team is which.

Payroll being a symbol of folly, the Yankees are checking in with paychecks for a bunch of injured, aging superstars who have seen better days and may never see improvement on the field again.

The Red Sox are not much better, having signed designated hitters that are enjoying the Florida sunshine as the season opens.

Not to be outdone by spending loosely, the Sox signed a bunch of cast-offs themselves: we bandy the names loosely too: Victorino, Napoli, Gomes, Drew, and so forth.

Promising redemption, or at least a spin at trying harder, the Sox bring us Lester and Buchholz again, proving you cannot keep chicken and beer down for long.

Controversy still is biting at the Red Sox Achilles heels. They have begrudgingly kept Jackie Bradley, Jr., on the roster and will start him in the Conigliaro curse mode. They are sick at the idea of losing money in 2019 by playing him now. Bradley's contract will cost them in the long run. They shouldn't worry. It will be the problem of the new owners by then.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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