Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 15 February 2013

image for Phil Jackson: I Need To Be The Lakers Coach Now!
Jackson's fiancée Jeanie Buss gave him a throughbred mare for Valentine's Day which he named Lady Laker.

LOS ANGELES - Phil Jackson, who is the proud owner of 13 NBA Championship rings, has stated that he is sick and tired of seeing his former Lakers team lose.

Jackson told Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that he has spoken at length to Kobe Bryant and he is in complete agreement that something needs to be done and done soon before the Lakers simply implode and find themselves being washed down the playoffs drain.

The Zen Master, as Jackson is known, says that he has all kinds of ideas, plans, and schemes to get the boys in purple and gold back on the winning track.

He pointed out that a few days ago he met the Lakers number one fan Jack Nicholson for dinner at The Davy Crockett Barbecue Grill in Venice Beach.

Phil said that Jack literally pleaded with him to do whatever it takes to get back to being the Lakers coach.

Nicholson let Phil know that he has contacted Lakers owner Jerry Buss and he is trying to convince him to fire the current L.A. coach Mike D'Antoni on grounds of Ipso Nolo Winnitis, and hire him.

Phil, remarked somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that he knows that he has the total approval of the Lakers executive vice-president of business operations, since she just happens to be Jackson's fiancée Jeanie Buss, daughter of the team owner.

The 67-year-old former Lakers coach told Hercules Confetti that he has said all that he can say on the subject and that now the ball is in Jerry's court (no pun intended).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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