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Friday, 28 December 2012

Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat needs to be fumigated.

Though he insists he is not a dirty player, there are a half dozen victims to his play in the NBA who'd stand in the witness box and insist Dwyane has a great deal of grime under his fingernails.

Boraxo soap might clean him off, but to state that he would never be a dirty player because of his two upstanding sons becomes patently ridiculous. Wade was Father of the Year, or some other title that is one step away from the Hollywood Walk of Fame (yes, folks, the fix is in).

In his own defense Wade insisted that to kick someone in the groin intentionally from the angle at which he performed this heinous action would require the skills of an NFL defensive tackle like Ndamukong Suh.

Wade also sang the well-known dittie,"Sticks and stones may break my bones," but that won't stop his high kicking feet from reaching the soft tissue of opposing players.

No one said it would be easy playing for a team that insists it will eventually win at least seven championships. It has one as of this year.

Erik Spoelstra, coach of the Heat, usually is the one handing out hankies in the locker room, but insists that his boys are not thugs. The 21st century has merely redefined the term "unsportsmanlike."

The Heat are on the cutting edge of the new definition. Next time they will show up for tip off with their stillettos unsheathed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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