Written by Simon Saunders
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Monday, 5 November 2012

image for Solskjaer Fancies Fergies Job
Solskjaer may need one of these if he becomes United gaffer

Legendary former Manchester United striker Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has revealed he would relish the opportunity to manage his former club.

The 'Baby Faced Assassin' as he's known at Old Trafford, despite never having assassinated anyone, currently manages a mould manufacturing company in his native Norway .

Solskjaer was plucked from obscurity by Ferguson after a successful career in the mid-nineties as a mould salesman and part-time scorer of goals. He went on to achieve hero status at United after famously scoring the winner during Fergie-time against Bayern Munich in the 1999 Champions League final before returning to Norway and the mould industry after he retired due to a knee injury.

Solskjaer told us, "I'm loving what I'm doing at the moment. It seemed sensible to return to what I did before football. The mould industry had been struggling in recent years but our company is doing great business now. Mould went out of fashion in the seventies but we've seen an increase in trade since the financial crisis. People can't afford houses made out of bricks so they're living in ones made of mould instead. I mean, mould is literally dirt cheap. It's very retro as well."

What about football management, we asked.

Solskjaer replied, "One day I'd love to return to football as a manager. Ideally at Old Trafford. Obviously it would have to be once my old gaffer is gone. Although the way things are going Mr Ferguson could be around till I'm known as the OAP-faced assassin! At the moment I'm concentrating on the mould business. I certainly learned many things from Mr Ferguson and with my current role I think I've picked up the man-management skills required and I know football pretty well, so who knows. I've not perfected the 'hair dryer" yet though. My technique is more like a hand dryer," joked Solsjkaer.

One thing is for sure, if Solskjaer does return to Old Trafford in the role of manager there's Norway the clubs supporters would be against his appointment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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