Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 November 2012

image for A-Rod May Soon Become A Houston Astro
Alex Rodriguez makes $30 million a year. (Photo courtesy of David Letterman).

NEW YORK CITY - Alex Rodriguez, who is the highest paid athlete in professional sports, at $30 million per year has expressed a desire to leave the New York Yankees.

A-Rod, who had a horrible post season managing to bat a lowly .133 recently talked to Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily.

The two sat down at The Plastered Platypus Lounge where Miss Bazooka asked him if he felt that he was jinxed.

The Yankee star replied that he did not feel jinxed; or at least not in the same way that Tony Romo felt when he was dating Jessica Simpson, or the way Mark Sanchez felt when he was dating Eva Longoria.

Miss Bazooka asked him about Cameron Diaz.

Alex stated that he never felt like Cameron had anything to do with his sub par performance, his lack of concentration, or the fact that he would whisper 'I love you Cameron' softly each time he would step into the batter's box.

He was asked if the rumor that he had got tired of all of the dozens and dozens of different New York City foreign accents had anything to do with the fact that he wants to be traded.

The outfielder grinned as he popped some sunflower seeds in his mouth and replied that although the different accents have gotten to him at times, that is really not the reason.

He stressed that he wanted it known that the fact that Donald Trump is a total embarrassment to the city also has nothing to do with his decision.

When asked which team he would like to be traded to Alex instantly replied, "The Houston Astros."

He was asked why. And he replied, "The Astros just finished their 2012 season with a record of 55 wins and 107 loses, which was the worst won-loss record of all 30 Major League Baseball teams. So as you can see there is really no where for them to go but up."

Alex pointed out, "And who better than me, the $30 million man to help them get back into the groove of winning as my good friend Charlie Sheen used to say, and say, and say."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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