Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 13 October 2012

image for Kobe Bryant Promises The Lakers Will Be This Year's NBA Champions
Kobe Bryant will be the highest paid NBA player this year making $27.8 million. (Photo by Metta World Peace).

LOS ANGELES - The greatest Laker in the history of the Lakers organization, according to Kobe Bean Bryant, has just said that there is no way that the Lakers will not win the NBA championship this year.

Kobe, speaking with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily's Rufus Reno at a Tacos, Tacos, & Mucho More Tacos in Hacienda Heights, said that this is not only the best Lakers team ever assembled but it is the best professional basketball team to ever exist.

He took a drink of his orange Gatorade and said, "I mean, look we have me of course, Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol, Steve Nash, and Dwight Howard."

Bryant brimmed with pride and added, "So tell me Rufus, who the hell is gonna beat us, the Spurs? the Thunder? - well let me answer that question...no one, as in nobody or as my stunningly sexy, and gorgeously beautiful forgiving wife Vanessa would say in Spanish, 'nadie.'"

As Kobe took a bite out of his Kirstie Alley Super Deluxe Burrito, Reno asked him if he then feels that the Lakers will finish the 2012-2013 season with an 82-0 record.

Bryant put down the burrito, wiped his mouth, and said, "Well let me put it this way my friend. We may not go 82-0, but I do know that we will probably go 81-1, or 80-2, or maybe even 79-3."

Reno seized the moment and asked Kobe if he would like to bet that the Lakers will end up losing more than 3 games during the season.

Kobe's smile left his face. He looked right at Reno and said, "Okay dude, I'll bet you $1 million."

Reno's eyes got as big as ping pong balls.

He nervously said, "Ah, lets make it $20."

"Done!" replied Bryant.

He then ordered a George Lopez Plate of half a dozen tamales to go for his devoted, erotically sensuous forgiving wife.

In A Non-Related Story. Denzel Washington has said that he has turned down the leading role in the movie A Full Head of Hair - The Mitt Romney Story due to the fact that it would have required at least 4 hours in the makeup chair before each day's shooting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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