Written by John_L
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Thursday, 11 October 2012

image for England Football team drop Umbro
Preview of the new England kit.

England are to end their long association with Umbro in favor of Umbro's parent company Nike. The move comes in the wake of negative press for Umbro whose recent kits have been seen as rubbish.

A spokesman said. "The last couple of kits that Umbro have come up with have been rubbish. We had the one with all the little crosses on that looked like a kids comforter. This was replaced by the current kit that looks like a market stall knock off. The material is a thick and woolly and not very breathable. Switching to Nike should improve performance as well plus because they make Man United kits they are used to making allowances for Wayne Rooney's girdle."

"I think that it will be better al round." England Captain Steven Gerrard said "Umbro kits have a lot of bad thing like hanging around. Rangers wear Umbro and it all went wrong for them." Manager Roy Hodgson told a bloke on the train to Burton "I think it has to do with the fact that Jimmy Savile used to wear Umbro Shell Suits."

It is not the first time that Umbro have been replaced by England. The last time was during the late 70's when Admiral took over the job. It was Admiral who produced the first commercially available England shirt although they didn't change the design of this from 1980 until they went into administration in 1984 and were replaced by Umbro.

Although they have made a pledge to change the kits on a two year rota more recently Umbro have introduced new Home and Away kits every year and the price has gone through the roof. Nike are known to produce the most expensive kits on the market.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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