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Friday, 10 August 2012

image for Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood
Mushy peas 'a la Bolt' - A favourite in the chippys across Bradford

While the bars stayed open late in Jamaica, after the 200m success of Usian Bolt and his team-mates last night, the fish and chip shops of Manningham was where the greatest celebration took place.

It has been revealed that Bolt is yet another successful London 2012 athlete to come from 'God's Country'. Although he moved to the sunnier climes of the West Indies to represent Jamaica, Bolt was actually born and bred in the suburb of Bradford, known before now as the home of the special brand of cured, high saturated fat, beef dripping, 'Bradford Northern' used by Jaimie Oliver in his healthiest recipes.

While chasing his father's pidgeons across the cobbled streets of the post industrial Northern metropolis, the tall runner claims that it was all the fish, chips and especially the mountains of mushy peas that provided the early strength for his long legs.

Known for his dislike of training, Usain confirmed that diet has been his main focus in pre Olympic preparation. 'The others would be doing endless sprints and fartlek training routines but I'd just head for t'chippy', he confirmed.

Asked what one piece of advice he would give to the world's youngsters inspired by his performances, the giant star was adamant, 'If you are making mushy peas from scratch, whatever you do, don't forget to soak them for AT LEAST 30 minutes'.

Bolt was later seen accompanying the Brownlee brothers to a local branch of Lidl in Canning Town where the popular Northern accompaniment were on special offer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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