Written by Ossurworld
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Sunday, 5 August 2012

File it under: the emperor has no clothes.

The American men's basketball team, highly vaunted, and victims of their own braggadocio, nearly lost a game to the Lithuanian team by a few measly points.

Only in the final four minutes, when Lithuania had yanked off the shorts of the Americans did we see the Ugly Americans getting their just desserts.

This Dream Team looked like the nightmare from Elm Street.

Of course, when you beat the Nigerians by eighty points in the previous game, your arsenal is likely as bare as the backboard when the next shoot-out presents itself.

We are grateful that Lithuania did not run up the score to embarrass the Americans.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Gold. The Ugly American team nearly lost its GPS.

Thank heavens the American team didn't run up the score. It might have been an underwhelming five-point victory.

Somewhere in the hinterlands, Larry Bird was snickering.

As Charles Barkley noted, the 2012 might beat the 1992 team simply because the original Dream Team is now collecting Social Security benefits and probably has trouble running up and down the court.

Next time you see LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Durant, and the other American blowhards, you may titter openly.

If there is anything more unattractive than arrogance, it is the humble pie the Hare had to eat after the Tortoise beat his tail off.

If LeBron had lost this game, his mother might never be able to slap another lowly parking lot attendant with impunity.

The more sober-sided fans might begin to wonder what will happen next time the wake-up call fails to go off on the bench.

The only gold this team will take home is the stuff filling their cavities.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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