Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 1 August 2012

image for London 2012 is the XXX Olympics
He didn't even take me out for drinks!

It was finally noticed today that the London 2012 Olympics is the thirtieth in modern times. It being modern times, Roman numerals are used. Thirty in Roman numerals is written XXX.

"Oh yes," said Candi Apple, the Gymnastics organiser. "I'd not realised, we should do something about that."

All female gymnasts from this point on, will be naked, and involve a washing machine repair man. All male gymnasts will be dressed in fifty shades of grey.

The one hundred metre athletes are complaining that the extra swinging while they are running nude will add minutes to length of time it will take to finish, whilst the hurdlers have asked for notches to be put half way along the top of the hurdle. Half the pole vaulters are complaining that their poles now vibrate. The other half of pole vaulters are women.

"At least the opening ceremony honoured the XXX Olympics," said Sebastian Coe, who has ordered a BDSM costume from new sponsors, S&M. "They were five rings of burning fire. That takes me back to my days at Eton, I can tell you!"

In the firearms events, there will be plenty of scenes of competitors shooting their loaded pistols, and in the swimming, very little will change.

One event has had to become a casualty of the new regime.

"Due to broadcasting restrictions," said Coe, "the horse riding will not be televised."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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