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Sunday, 29 July 2012

image for US Wins Gold Medal In Pissing Contest
G. Otto Gonow Wins The Pissing Contest For America

London, England-- The United States has won the gold medal in the pissing contest in the 2012 Olympic Games. Russia took second place, with a surprise win for Tibet in third place. The contest was held in the Olympic Stadium and was for adults only. It was not televised.

Gold Medal winner G. Otto Gonow, 24, won the medal for the US with an impressive distance of 35 meters.

"The secret is to drink a lot of beer or ale before the competition." said Mr. Gonow. "I drank 25 beers before the event so it just really pouring out of me with incredible water pressure."

Yuri N. Bladder won the silver for Russia, but didn't have much to say about the pissing contest. His distance was 34.9 meters.

"Everyone knows yanks have bigger sex organs--it wasn't a fair competition." he grumbled.

A relatively unknown athlete from Tibet gave an impressive showing of 34.4 meters. He hopes to compete again in 2016.

"I practiced Tantra exercises with my bladder." stated Itza Gonnaburst. I didn't piss for three weeks and just meditated a lot. I think I could have done better." said the devout Buddhist.

The gold medal presented to Mr. Gonow looked more yellow than gold, but it didn't seem to upset the American.

"I'm so drunk now, I don't care." said Mr. Gonow before running into a nearby restroom.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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