Written by Bea Shaylee Sayers
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Saturday, 28 July 2012

image for Remarkable Olympics opening ceremony inaugurates UK economic breakdown

Great Britain marked the beginning of its economical meltdown with a glorious spectacle of Olympian costs at the new Olympic Stadium in London watched by millions of people around the world.

An extravagant, whimsical, unconventional, and dazzling celebration directed by filmmaker Danny Boyle opened 17-day long sport festivities called London Summer Olympic Games. Queen Elizabeth II herself opened the Games during the ceremony: "British people are not afraid of major economic breakdown. We'll face the crisis by celebrating and by reminding the whole world that there are more important things than recession. The spirit and values of sport competitions will give us motivation to not only endure any predicament but to emerge victorious. I declare open the 2012 Summer Olympic Games of London."

To demonstrate the spirit and values of a sport competition, more than 100 athletes have been successfully caught using performance-enhancing drugs in the run-up to the London Olympics.

Sir Paul McCartney, Daniel Craig, Mr. Bean Rowan Atkins, and David Beckham took part in the opening ceremony to support the celebrate-than-collapse London Olympics. British Prime Minister David Cameron as well as heads of states and dignitaries representing countries from all around the world were watching the celebration with great amazement. U.S. President Barack Obama emphasized his admiration for the country and its people. "British people are so brave and defiant in the face of so much. The rest of the world is lurching from crisis to crisis but they're celebrating till their last breath."

"The last breath" will come with the £11 billion ($14.5 billion) tab for the London Games, the opening ceremony itself costing £27 million ($42.3 million).

Have a good time Great Britain and thank you for the Olympic Games. The whole world will celebrate with you. But the quadruple-dip recession will be all yours.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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