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Tuesday, 24 July 2012

image for Bradley Wiggins Snubbed By the Establishment
Wiggins' dress-suit sideburns must remain in their drawers...

With calls already for a knighthood after his exploits in the Tour de France, a shadow has been cast over sports superstar Bradley Wiggins after he was told to 'get on your bike' by members of London's elite Pickwick Club.

Fresh from his victory across the Channel, Wiggins immediately applied for membership of the venerable gentleman writers' club, hoping that his picaresque blogging throughout his travels through France would qualify him as an ideal candidate.

"Initially I was informed that I had been blackballed," said a clearly emotional Wiggins.

"I replied that after three and a half weeks and two thousand miles on a hard saddle it was only natural, and that they should try it, the fat tubs of lard; but their position was later clarified, so I guess I'll just have to take it on the chin."

Explaining their rejection of the cyclist's application, effusive chairman Samuel Pickwick said, " It is very sad. Mr Bradleystone Pubblechook Wiggyfez is a fine gentleman. A fellow of wit and infinite jest who sports a most promising juvenile set of mutton-chop whiskers and an appellation that recommends itself for immediate membership."

"However, in the light of his victorious sporting achievements on the penny farthing, we have reluctantly decided to decline his candidature. The man's a winner, for God's sake. That's not British." said Pickwick.

"It's just not cricket, what?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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