Written by Mark MacDonald
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Friday, 8 June 2012

Former England footballer Rio Ferdinand has apparently received a surprise telegram today from Ukraine. from an unlikely source.

Ferdinand, currently on holiday in an undisclosed location, received a letter from the English FA.

On opening the letter, it at first appeared to be a hand written letter from England manager Roy Hodgeson.

"I opened the letter, and it was a letter of apology from Roy Hodgeson. It went on to say that he (Hodgeson) had got it wrong, and that he should jump on the next available flight to the England training camp. I was over the moon to say the least. My first reaction was to send a tweet, because I only tweet when I win something."

The letter appeared to be genuine at first, and was checked by several people, who cannot be named for legal reasons.

"After booking myself on a Private Jet, I arrived at the airport.
The airport seemed like an normal airport. It had planes and stuff."

The flight appeared to take off for Ukraine, but in actual fact, it was all a figment of Rio Ferdinands imagination.

"After I landed in Ukraine, it was a seven hour boring flight, I was rudely awoken by her indoors. She asked me if she could have the Lilo as I had been lying there, in the pool for seven hours, I informed my real wife that I would be able to hand back the lilo when I arrived back from the imaginary Ukraine. I was shocked to be told again by the imaginary Roy Hodgeson, that I was not wanted. He didn't know anything about a letter."

"I can't believe I merked myself, it was so real."

Roy Hodgeson, at England HQ, in Poland,was hesitant to comment on yet another Ferdinand story.

"I keep talking about the one player until the cows come home. I categorically deny, that either myself, or the imaginary Roy Hodgeson in Rio Ferdinand's head, have offered the player a place in the real or the imaginary squad."

The imaginary Rio Ferdinand was unavailable for comment as he was on a flight, but an imaginary friend of his confirmed that England will win the imaginary European Championship but perhaps not the real one.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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