Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 26 May 2012

image for Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen Plunks Down $230,000 For Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl Ring
Charlie Sheen paid the $230,000 for Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl ring in cash.

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Charlie Sheen sat in his Mulholland Estate Mansion Casa Jose Cuervo smoking an imported 10-inch Cuban cigar and taking sips from a bottle of tequila that he named his Sherman Oaks mansion after.

Sheen, who is known as "The Space Cadet" due to the fact that he turned his back on his $1.8 million a week salary on the number one sit-com Two and A Half Men, spoke with Dottie Bazooka, a reporter with Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly.

Charlie told Miss Bazooka that he is thrilled at his upcoming television show Anger Management and he added that he plans on asking some noted sports figures to make guest appearances.

He stated that he hopes to get such notable hot tempered athletes as Metta World Peace, Rajon Rondo, Ndamukong Suh, Serena Williams, Kevin Garnett, and Josh Beckett.

Miss Bazooka changed the subject and asked Sheen if it was true that he tried to get a hold of Time Magazine's cover girl, the infamous "Breastfeeding Mama."

He grinned like the Colombian cat that swallowed the Costa Rican canary and said that it was true. He then pointed out that he just wanted to see if "BM" wouldn't mind recreating the famous magazine cover with him in exchange for an old "Winning" T-shirt and an autographed beer can.

Sheen divulged that she has not gotten back to him yet.

Bazooka asked him about another rumor going around the Left Coast that he had actually purchased New York Giants Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl XXV ring for $230,000.

Charlie remarked that it was a fact and that he bought it to place it in his sports memorabilia case next to a Babe Ruth 1927 World Series half eaten hot dog, a bag of sunflower seeds that Nolan Ryan had originally given to Raquel Welch, and a catcher's cup that Johnny Bench of the Cincinnati Reds wore during the 1976 World Series.

Sheen says that his next goal is to buy a tortilla press that Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Fernando Valenzuela received as a wedding present.

A Friendly Reminder. May 29, is National Adopt A Homeless Guppy Day except in Arizona where Guppies were outlawed in October of 2010.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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