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Topics: Horse Racing

Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for Horse Wins Race

The 137th Preakness Stakes was run today, and for the 137th consecutive time the race was won by a small man riding a horse. I'll Have Another kept alive its hopes for a triple crown, or rather, kept alive the triple crown hopes of the people around it, while the horse itself continued to hope for oats. As is customary in these kinds of races, small men on horses rode around in circles while people watched.

This reporter missed the actual race, his first, when he went off to find out what a Mint Julep is. It turns out it's some kind of alcoholic beverage mixed with mint leaves and sugar. It's disgusting. When he came back from the bar, the race was over.

Following I'll Have Another in second place was No Thanks, I'm Good. Can't Find the Bar came in third. Other funny horse names include Happy Pappy, Kiss Me Clown, and P.S. You Smell Bad. None of these horses raced Saturday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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