Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 May 2012

image for Coming Soon! The Girl's Bikini Hockey League
Professional poker player Margarita Sangria will be playing in the GBHL. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

TULSA - First it was Women's Beach Volleyball and then came The Lingerie Football League.

And now thanks to sports mogul Carson "Dollar $ign$" Esterelli, the American males will soon be gazing upon gorgeous women in The Girl's Bikini Hockey League (The GBHL).

Esterelli told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly that the idea of sexy-looking women competing in ice hockey first came to him in a dream.

He took a sip of his Lowenbrau and said that he admits that it was a daydream but nonetheless the intent was there.

He said he ran the idea by one of Oklahoma's richest ranchers, Buck "Belt Buckle" Quackenmire who owns the 70,000 acre Bar B Q Cattle Ranch, which is located just east of Beaver, Oklahoma.

Reno remarked that Quackenmire, the multi-millionaire Oklahoma bachelor, was only too eager to help provide the financial backing for the new Girl's Bikini Hockey League since along with being a fan of cattle ranching he is also a fan of hockey and an even bigger fan of beautiful women.

Quackenmire confessed that combining hockey with sensuously erotic females was as natural as combining a Simmental breeding bull with a birthing-ready Aberdeen-Angus cow to make a baby calf.

Esterelli said that he advertised for sexy-looking females between the ages of 19 to 28 in two of the top sports publications in America Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly and Sports Territory Magazine.

He remarked that he was literally inundated with over 16,000 requests to join the GBHL.

He noted that the first woman to sign up was Tulsa fitness instructor Andrea Boxfaust, 26, a stunning blonde who is one of the fittest looking women in the entire Sooner state of Oklahoma.

Other equally attractive women that have been chosen to fill teams in the GBHL include Hooters waitresses Chloe Tiggletuck and Kylee Zerkalino and noted Oklahoma City lap dancer Libby "Lips of Love" Summerbutter.

Tiggletuck and Zerkalino are both ex-girlfriends of Mr. Esterelli. Ms. Summerbutter is his former wife, whom he divorced two years ago on grounds of Irreconcilable Ipso Repetitive Philandering (on her part).

Two other ravishing women who have been signed to the GBHL include second grade teacher Kumkeesha Woodbone (a former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader) and professional poker player Margarita Sangria.

Esterelli is currently dating Miss Sangria and he disclosed that if she plays her cards right (no pun intended) she may just end up being the next Mrs. Carson Esterelli.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Esterelli and he informed me that he hopes to have the GBHL operational by January of 2013. He also emailed me a photo of what the hockey uniforms will look like and all I can say is that they will make the uniforms of the Lingerie Football League players look like Alaskan parkas.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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