Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Rajon Rondo

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Following in the vocal patterns of Shaquille O'Neal and Carlos Arroyo, Rajon Rondo has announced to the world (via Global Grind.com) that he can sing in the rain.

Not your usual bebop/hiphop artiste, Rondo insists that his métier is R&B, and he will provide musical prowess with an accompanying female singer who prefers to remain under a paper bag hat to date.

When asked about the distaff side, Rondo gave the curt answer that revealed little more than a coin flip response. "You know a good woman when you see one." We presume he has seen one.
We are not sure if this rules out Madonna.

So, with that, we came to realize that Rondo (a musical name in and of itself) would hardly be singing the aria "La Donna e Mobile." No champagne glasses will be shattered with his oeuvre.

If you are wondering about musical training, you need look no farther than the shower stall in the Celtics locker room. CD producers are easy to find when the star is ready to bankroll the orchestra.

Ray Charles had to be paid in ones to be sure he wasn't being cheated. We are not sure how many ones Rondo will see after singing "Stormy Weather."

We suspect Rondo's secret single will be something on the order of Peaches and Herb.

In our wildest humming, we envision ourselves stuck in traffic on the way to the TD Garden while listening to Rondo and his mysterious guest artist crooning like Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald, wailing about being "On Our Own."

This season has brought overlarge headphones to the ears of Rondo during his pregame warmups. No more little buds for him.

The guard insists he wants calming tunes in his head before he musters up the angst to follow the bouncing ball or do the bump and grind on the court.

Can the "Rondo Xmas Album" be far behind?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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