Written by CWMIV
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Topics: English, wikipedia

Tuesday, 11 April 2006

image for Wikipedia Purchases Football Team
Could you soon be seeing the Wikipedia Rovers on this football green?

In order to boost the number of pageviews on its failing website, online dictionary Wikipedia has purchased an English football team.

The Wikipedia Rovers squad is made up of the most well-known members of the site. The captain is currently unconfirmed, but an adminstrator of the dictionary anyone can update seems likely at this point.

The Wikipedia Rovers have not fully thought out their plan, it would seem - a test match on Sunday proved that whilst the team members were intelligent and knew how to look after a website, they didn't actually know anything about playing Football.

Not to be outdone, Wikipedia posted a begging article on their website the other day for anyone who knew either how to play football or, better yet, how to train people who don't know how to play football to play football. Hopefully someone will sign up on Wikipedia soon who knows how to do either of those things, because right now it appears nobody does - I suppose that was to be expected on Wikipedia, particularly the former!

They will need lots and lots of luck to get quick responses - they play their first match in the Website-Owned Teams League against the eBay Strikers next Thursday. If they win, they will go on to face other competitors including teams formed by Neopets, No Homers Club and the Internet Movie Database.

If they manage to come out on top overall, they will win and thus take home their website's first ever real award and the league's grand prize - the Website-Owned Teams League cup, which comes with its own domain name - www.(winningteam)-WOTL.co.uk. Offering a domain name as a prize may not have been the best idea, because each year arguments are caused by the previous winners' domain being deleted for the new winners' site.

Despite all the problems with their squad, mainly the already mentioned one that they don't know how to play football, Wikipedia are planning to do big things with both their new football team and more outside-world adventures. Plans include:

  • A Wikipedia football pitch for their squad
  • A diet cola drink named "Wikidrink"
  • "Wikipedia: The Movie", which will guest-star many members of Wikipedia
  • A Wikipedia real-life library with a leisure centre
  • "The Wikipedia Sub", to be served at participating Subway's stores, containing various salad and ham things
  • And much, much more!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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