Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Tim Tebow

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

One of those lowbrow websites has offered one million dollars ($1,000,000.00) probably payable in pennies to any woman who can prove she has had sex (all the way, folks) with Tim Tebow.

Their money is safer than if it were in government bonds. No dominatrix needs apply.

We shall keep the website unnamed so as not to dignify the proposal.

Some years ago a movie depicted an old millionaire offering Woody Harrelson the same amount if he let his wife (Demi Moore) sleep with him (all the way, folks).

In those days Woody was quite young and good looking. He had to think and suffer long and hard before making a decision. Actually it would have been a better movie had the millionaire offered the money to Woody for his services.

Then we would have believed his long and hard angst.

What would constitute proof in these sex cases? Tapes are so easily faked. Photos are so easily Photoshopped.

Nowadays an army of sellers of purloined loins tries to unveil naked photos of actively participating athletes to the National Enquirer that the price has dropped considerably.

The pearls before the swine have thrown us upon one knee to supplicate.

Deflation, not inflation, seems to have spiked in bedroom eyes.

Identifying a rapist by means of his idiosyncratic physical deformities has become a police work staple.

However, we doubt Tim Tebow would sit, stand, or otherwise, allow high definition photo examination of his private junkyard.

We always give people we suspect the benefit of doubt. We actually accept what people say about their sex lives. Perhaps this is because we have a sense of humor--or because we don't like to throw stones at glass houses.

Everyone knows the right answer in a sex survey.

If Tim Tebow wants to be a virgin, then we say, "Go for it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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