Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: german, gene

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Scientists have finally isolated the "110%" gene that sets sportsman apart from us mere mortals. Staggeringly though it may seem most sportsman claim to give "110%" very few are actually capable of doing this as they do not possess the "110%" gene. Professor Tom Foolery of the Life Institute of Education (L.I.E) states:

"The gene which is closely related to the "Completus-Bollockus" cell group appears in around ten per cent of sportsmen. Meaning a select few can actually achieve "110%" worth of effort."

The gene was discovered by Hermann Hermann a German who likes to dress as a merman on the weekends. He added:

"We hope to be able to extract the gene and place it inside other athletes who aren't fortunate enough to naturally possess the gene. We hope to bind it to their existing genetic structure and developed a whole new race of super soldiers. Did I say super soldiers? I meant long jumpers. Graceful, deadly, leaping long jumpers..."

Herman's voice trailed off and his right arm jerked around violently as if attempting to shoot up in the air. Like some sort of salute perhaps? No, Back and to the Left news doesn't make wild accusations against members of the scientific community; that's just not our style.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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