Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 10 April 2012

image for Alex Ferguson admits Manchester United's success is not down to him
Hmm...I reckon I'll get a good deal for Ashley Young.

Manchester United manager, Alex Ferguson has admitted that he is not responsible for the success of Manchester United this year.

"It's nothing to do with me," he said. Actually, he said "E now tude wimmy" but a translator offered the correct pronunciation.

According to the longest serving manager in the Premiership, all of this season's team selection and transfers were down to an online soccer manager game in which an unwitting participant chose team line ups and transfer targets throughout the season in an attempt to win the one hundred pound prize.

"He's been doing quite well on the game," said Ferguson. "He brought in a couple of players at the start, and managed to somehow bring Scholesy back from retirement. As the players in the game can play until they're five hundred and are not affected by tabloid sleeze, Ryan Giggs has also had a great season."

Many people are at a loss how Manchester United have managed to top the table with only a few games left, despite not playing particularly well. Now it has been revealed.

"The worse case scenario," said Ferguson, "is that he gets bored of the game and quits, or loses his internet connection."

Once the season is over, Ferguson plans on finding out just who the person is, and offer them the hot-seat job at Manchester United for real.

"He obviously knows his stuff," said the Scottish Grinch. "He's my ideal replacement."

This plan would be scuppered if it was revealed that the management mastermind is only fourteen and still at school.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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